What Was I Thinking?

Several years ago I loved to watch a TV show called Arrested Development. It was about this crazy family with four grown children, only one of whom was sane. One of the brothers was always getting himself into trouble--overpromising or going gung-ho on something and having it turn out to be a disaster. His catch-phrase, the one he said everytime something like that happened was, "I think I made a big mistake."

Well, that's how I have felt this last week: I think I made a big mistake.

My greatest passion in life is musical theatre. I love it. I live it. I breathe it. All my life growing up, all I ever wanted to do was move to New York and be on Broadway.

Then, in high school, I started developing my limiting beliefs--I wasn't pretty enough or talented enough to make it in the big time. I didn't want to face a lifetime of rejection from audition after audition after audition.

So, I decided that I would live a regular life, be a mom, and do community theatre.

When I graduated from college, I got a job as a trainer for a medical software company, which required me to travel to hospitals around the country. I loved it, but I was never home long enough to be in a show, so eventually I went to my boss and told her I needed to step down.

I ended up with a different job in the same company--one that did not require travel--and my acting "career" began. I got some really incredible roles--won awards, received amazing reviews in the paper, and even met and married my husband. It was the time of my life.

Then came life--children, obligations...

When I found Liberty League, I hadn't set foot on stage in YEARS. But Beyond Freedom and the community helped me refocus on what truly matters in my life--what really brings me the deepest joy. So I started doing theatre again.

Right now, I have a featured role in Oliver! at McLean Community Players. You can read a little about our production (though I am not mentioned in it) here.

This has been a really amazing opportunity--my high school (the high school I specifically went to for their theatre program!) did it my freshman year, and I was NOT cast. So to be in the show now, over 20 years later, has really been "sweet revenge." Ha ha ha!

Anyway, we open tonight, which means that this week has been "tech week"--or, what is commonly referred to as "hell week." You see, the actors rehearse for a couple months, and the one week before we open we add all the other elements you see on stage--costumes, lights, sound/mics, set, props. Everything is thrown at us at once, and the crew needs to scurry to figure out when to turn the lights on and off, what set pieces to move where and when, what props need to be on which side of the stage, etc. It makes for VERY long rehearsals and a VERY stressful week. As I often repeated to my fellow castmates these last few days, "There is a reason we call it hell week."

So, I have to ask myself, what was I thinking when I decided to start my 21 day challenge NOW? As the brother in Arrested Development would say, "I think I made a big mistake."

Of course, truly, tech week is no excuse. After all, if I had a full time job, I would go in to work even if it was tech week--most of the cast does. But, as a stay and home mom with a home based business, I have the luxury to sleep in and feel sorry for myself. And, I'm embarrassed to admit, that's exactly what I have done.

So, team, I am here to report (with my tail between my legs) that I have done a big fat nothing for the first 4 days of the challenge.

I considered restarting the clock, but have decided not to--after all, if I fell off the wagon in the middle of the challenge, I could just keep going. So that's what I'm going to do now. Just keep going.

Monday is another day, another week, another chance.

Have a great weekend!

How can I brighten your day?